Why did the chicken cross the road?

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American chicken.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die a painful death. In the rain. With his boots on.

TOM CRUISE: To study the handling of the spirit in relationship to itself ... and to see my new movie Mission: Impossible III.

WILLIAM SHATNER: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Denny Crane.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. Come on, Scully. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

GEORGE W. BUSH: What chicken?

PARIS HILTON: He was hot.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken XP, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. Unfortunately, the software crashes a lot and seizes control of your computer without your permission.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

RICHARD M. NIXON: I am not a chicken.